Dangers: It was hard to sit down, and, once seated, you were apt to be very uncomfortable, with coarse denim seams digging into your soft thighs and genitals; zipper often split under duress (without underwear, the functioning zipper presented other hazards); it was discovered (and widely reported and apparently largely ignored) that men wearing tight clothing in their reproductive area increased their body temperature in "that area" and consequently had markedly lower sperm counts. Women too were prone to increased "female trouble."

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HOT PANTS Hot pants arrived as a fashion sensation in 1971. These super short tight shorts were worn bare-legged, with knee socks, or with tights in the winter. They were available in many fabrics including denim, silk, satin, wool, and mink ($195) and were often adorned with patches, embroidery, rhinestones, and glitter. They were considered liberating for women (and, we can assume, for the few men) who wore them. Short shorts persevered throughout the '70s, especially in the form of jeans cutoffs. The convergence of athletic wear as fashion and the roller-disco craze sparked a late-'70s rebirth of satin tuxedo-style hot pants, with a stripe down the side.

Dangers: See TIGHT JEANS for physical hazards and reflect quietly to yourself about the depressing social and aesthetic implications of a nation in hot pants. (Hint: both Sammy Davis Jr. and Liberace performed in hot pants.)

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BIKINI-STYLE UNDERWEAR The elastic "waistband" of these tiny underpants straddled (and usually pinched) the middle of the buttocks. This created a new fashion disaster -- the VPL, or visible panty line. Though they were more popular with women than with men (we're guessing), '70s men did take up this "French-styled" brief.

Dangers: Enormously irritating to have one's buttocks bisected by elastic; see also dangers associated with POLYESTER SHIRTS and TIGHT JEANS.

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PLATFORM SHOES Who can explain the attraction of these shoes? A true platform had a built-up solid sole, unbroken by a heel, with at least 2 inches below the toe, often rising to 6 inches below the heel. Myriad variations included platform heels (with at least an inch of sole below the toe), platform sandals, platform boots, platform beach thongs, platform tennis shoes (striped sole). Styles tended toward the outrageous -- colored suede, shiny vinyl, glitter, lame'.  A "classy" model had a platform sole that matched the shoe.