Not Speaking French
Lessons from my son's monolingualism
January/February 1996
G. Bosch, Utne Reader
The first time my son left home he was only 10 years old. My wife's sister, an antiques dealer who lives in Paris, wanted him to stay with her for the summer. Any fears were easily rationalized by the vision of his triumphant return -- whereupon my extraordinary son, having been given this unique opportunity so early in life, would reveal the incredible things he had seen, his fantastic adventures, and above all, his newfound ability to speak rudimentary French.
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The summer passed. There were occasional phone calls about trips to Mont-Saint-Michel, visits to chateaus in the south, solo travels on the metro, and early morning jaunts to buy croissants in a nearby market. I was impressed, delighted, proud. So it was with enormous expectation that I met his plane, lifted him into my arms, hugged him, and exclaimed, 'Bienvenue, mon fils, comment va-t'il?'
He looked perplexed. I repeated my welcome, smiling and awaiting his response. 'Oh, Dad,' he said. 'Don't be silly.'
I thought perhaps I had inadvertently threatened him. I laughed. 'All right,' I said. 'Just say anything in French.'
He shook his head. 'Don't know how,' he said.
'But you bought croissants in the market. You went around Paris alone on the metro.'
'They talked to me in English.' My son was nonchalant, as only a 10-year-old can be. 'Why should I learn that other stuff?'
His attitude was anathema to me. Born in a small Midwestern town and acutely aware that I lacked a certain sophistication because I had never learned to speak another language fluently, I was determined that my children would grow up multilingual. But I was also a good liberal father and so I hid my disappointment in the hope that he would someday see the error of his ways.
Soon enough my son was entering high school -- a magnet school where I was assured he would receive a good education. By and large, he did. Except when it came to foreign languages. He chose German, but he refused to speak German. His excellent transcript was inevitably diminished by those terrible German grades, but he was intractable.