November 21, 2009
UTNE READER

Sex Tips for Adults

(Page 2 of 2)

November/December 1996
By Will Hermes, Utne Reader 
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Its young model demonstrators don't speak of first-person experiences (in fact, they barely speak at all), but the T-shirted, twentysomething narrator has a streetwise good humor that makes him far more appealing than the usual bunch of dour experts. And the tape's observations about power balance in relationships (respecting your partner's independence, swapping top and bottom roles as a way to understand your mate and your mate's pleasure more fully) are worth some thought by folks of all dispositions.

RELATED CONTENT

All these videos stress the importance of taking your time in lovemaking and not rushing toward orgasm. This strategy becomes a spiritual route in the videos that offer modern takes on tantric sex. Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy shows some wacky chakra-jiggle dances and a lot of bad '70s haircuts but offers good pointers on orgasm building and the erotic gaze. Better still is The Secrets of Sacred Sex, which goes into greater detail on chakra energies and breath and muscle control. Among its more novel techniques is the "daily devotion," a morning practice in which, following penetration, the couple lies motionless for 10 minutes, staring into each other's eyes and breathing together in sync, before getting up to start their day. My partner and I were impressed enough to try it over the course of a few mornings. At first we'd only manage a few minutes before cracking up, or bickering over who messed up the breath rhythm. But when we got it right, it proved to be a much better eye-opener than decaf--and it showed us that while we may never understand sex so hot, there's value in learning new ways to feel, and share, its power.

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