The Erotic Manifesto

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Talk about sex anywhere.
Sex is as delicious a conversation piece as food or music; it is as infinite as weather and twice as interesting. It puts an end to small talk and small minds and belongs at dinner tables, airports, and church-anywhere people exchange ideas.

Take inspiration from everyone and instruction from no one.
Don't worry about becoming a sexual imitation of someone else; it's impossible. Worry only when you hide your true self, your fear at showing what delights you, or your despair when silence seems the only way to survive. Erotic creativity is like a modern dancer-she has a body, she listens to the music, she breathes deeply, and she moves. The erotic spirit listens and expresses-it never memorizes or recites.

Kill envy with erotic kindness.
Envy will wrap around you like a vise-and in its grip you will fear that you don't have a chance. The opposite of envy is compassion, not carelessness; cherish it. Instead of feeling smug or angry in your envy, start tasting your fear. Only gentleness and forgiveness will allow that frightful taste to dissolve.

Teach your children privacy, in all its aspects.
Our kids do not belong to us. They have their own imaginations that we neither create nor undo; they live in our houses, but they have their own world. We can respect their world by giving them privacy, tolerance, an appreciation for our own bodies, and a feeling of love beyond possession.

Accept no guru's ego-accountability is more cosmic than charisma.
The greatest gift that leaders can give to followers is the opportunity to disagree. No sexual gurus know how to make your erotic body happy with their philosophies. The best sexual adviser is the person who is the best listener, asks the best questions, and appreciates the chance to be fallible in public.

Admire your erotic identity.
I've never been able to post positive affirmations on my mirror. I can't resist the notion that such speeches are Snow White's wicked stepmother's latest trick.

But I do talk to myself-without notes and reflective surfaces. And sometimes I look at my eyes in the mirror and think about how the fire is always going to be in there no matter how old I get.

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