The Viridian Manifesto

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We need a genuine avant-garde, a cultural elite with an advanced sensibility not yet shared by most people. Their task is to design a stable, sustainable physical economy in which the powerful prefer to live. We need a form of green high fashion so appallingly seductive it can save people's lives.

Environmental awareness is currently annoying: Consumers must gaze at plastic recycling labels, wash the garbage, and so on. Better information environments can make the invisible visible, however, and this can lead to a swift re-evaluation of previously invisible public ills.

Energy meters should be ubiquitous, enshrined within the home, not in an obscure box outside. This is not a frugality effort, but a luxury, a mark of class distinction. Solar and wind power should be marketed as premiums available to affluent, savvy consumers. Fouling the air with every flip of a light switch should be considered the stigma of the crass proletarian.

Computerized designer sunglasses that reveal the unspeakable swirl of airborne combustion products over the typical autobahn would make it immediately obvious that clean air is also a luxury. Infrasound, ultrasound, and sound-pollution monitors would make silence a luxury. Monitor taps with intelligent water analysis in real time would make pure water a luxury. Lack of mutagens in one's home would become a luxury.

Our movement is not hip, underground, bohemian, or alternative in any way. If anyone asks, say you are engaged in corporate futurism and product development. Trust me on this one. I have an exquisite understanding of how this system works, and at the end of the '90s, underground real estate is priced out of sight. It's not worth it. Give it back to the young people.

We're not particularly interested in young people; they've suffered enough. They should not be required to be trendy anymore; the overhead is just too cruel. They should be left to enjoy their pirated MP3 music and baggy cast-off clothing, and everyone over 30 should get the hell off their backs.

We are an avant-garde interested in old people. If anyone should be galvanized with guilt over this issue, it's guys who have been driving big ugly cars and living in leaky mansions for 60 years. Well, your chickens have come home to roost, Mr. Little Deuce Coupe. This is your legacy to the grandkids. If you have just a spark of decency, pitch in and help.

Any avant-garde that lacks a designated hate and contempt figure immediately breaks up into warring schisms. But the Viridian movement comes presupplied with the perfect villain: the Global Climate Coalition (GCC). They have industrial backing, massive PR budgets, and headquarters in Washington--things we deeply envy and will never have. They also have a vested interest in obscuring and distorting the truth about climate findings. We intend to find out about the GCC people, to make public fun of their moms and the way they dress.

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