Congratulations on turning 13! Welcome to your new life! Many wonderful opportunities await you, but so do some important challenges. Here's what you need to know to be a healthy, happy, safe, and productive Teenage Citizen of America.

1. Be polite. It's the law.
All Teenage Citizens of America want to be courteous, but sometimes they need pointers. Take a tip from the kids in Louisiana, where kindergartners and first through fifth graders are now legally required to address teachers as "Sir" or "Ma'am." It's a nice thing to do, and it makes school safer for everyone. (True fact: Columbine High School senior and aspiring Marine Eric Harris always used these salutations.)

2. When in doubt, ask Moses.
Sometimes it's hard to know how to act in school. That's why the U.S. House of Representatives has decided that your public school may be allowed to display the Ten Commandments. If they're not there, speak up! With the Ten Commandments handy, you don't have to wonder whether it's okay to smite someone or make a graven image. Remember: Teenage Citizens of America don't covet, dishonor, or bear false witness.

3. Blue hair isn't only ugly. It's wrong.
Just ask Kent McNew, a 16-year-old student at Virginia's Surry County High School who thought dyeing his hair blue might be "groovy." He was wrong. Kent's school, like many, strictly forbids "unusual or unique hair colors, such as blue or green." Remember: These rules are here to protect you from weird things. "Anybody who doesn't fit into a specific category or dresses differently or is considered a nerd or a geek, all of a sudden they're a suspect," says Andy Brumme, staff counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union in South Caro-lina. So if you know someone who has blue hair, wears antisocial clothing, or listens to faggy music, don't kick his ass--have him incarcerated!

4. Normal people do not wear black.
Just ask Jennifer Boccia, a high school senior from Allen, Texas, and one of about 10 students who wore black armbands to protest restrictive new school policies and to show respect for the Columbine High School victims. Bad idea. One student was suspended. When Jennifer showed her assistant principal a copy of the 1969 Supreme Court decision upholding the right of students to wear black armbands to protest the war in Vietnam, the assistant principal sent it through a paper shredder. Sorry, Jennifer, black is for losers, criminals, and people who live in Manhattan and smoke too much. Dressing brightly is your civic duty.