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Rubber band balls start as an innocent childlike game but grow into an obsession. They start out so young, tender, and small, but perseverance and dedication can yield a heavy, healthy ball of considerable size. The striped orb becomes so heavy with densely packed rubber bands that it's beautiful--round, colorful, and bouncy. The heavier the better. Before you know it, your days are filled with rubber, thoughts of rubber, and searches for rubber. You've got it bad. A rubber fetish of an alien kind. You're a rubber baller. 

Rubber balling has many joys. It's fascinating to watch your rubber band ball grow and evolve. Various rings of color hold court for a while but gradually disappear under new layers of rubber. The rubber band ball thus teaches a valuable, Zenlike lesson about the impermanence of all things. Don't get too attached to that purple or blue broccoli band stripe--if your ball is healthy and growing, that color will be gone in a few weeks. Rubber band balls also have a social conscience. Think of all that rubber going to waste every day on mail room floors, in offices, and on sidewalks. The recycling revolution starts with you, brothers and sisters. You must stoop, pick, and pocket those bands, and then transfer them to your eager orb. You have to do your part to save the earth--and your ball.

And I do mean that seriously--your rubber band ball is in mortal danger. New band growth must at least exceed the decay rate of the older bands on your ball's surface. The sad fact of rubber balling is that rubber rots. On a slow-growth ball, you can see the broken and cracked rubber bands held fast by the sparse new rubber. You must be careful to feed your ball only with the best, freshest rubber. (Though you must find it or salvage it, never buy it.) There's nothing more discouraging to the rubber band scavenger than to pick up a band that fails the initial and very necessary stretch test. I curse the wasted effort of picking up a band that breaks when I test it. I rejoice when a newly scavenged band stretches wide and holds fast. Bring only these mighty, stretchy bands as offerings to your ball.

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