November 22, 2009
UTNE READER

Got time for Friends?

Sure, you’re busy. But are you paying attention to what’s really important? Why finding—and keeping—friends is the key to a happy life.

September/October 2001
By Andy Steiner, Utne Reader 
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FRIENDSHIP SECTION
The 19 kinds of friends
-Jeremiah Creedon

Just Friends
-Pagan Kennedy, Ms.

Only Reconnect
-Jon Spayde

Got time for friends?
-Andy Steiner
Discuss friendship in the Relationship forum in Café Utne's:cafe.utne.com

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It’s not the last time my daughter will make me look foolish, but it was one of the first. Maybe it was silly to take a toddler to an art opening, but there we were, the effervescent Astrid and her uptight mama. As I hovered near her, hoping to intercept toppling objets d’art, Astrid spotted Claire across the room.Maybe their attraction was predestined, since Claire and Astrid, 18 and 16 months respectively, were the only under-three-footers in what to them must have looked like a sea of kneecaps. Still, Astrid’s eyes lit up when she saw young Claire, and she turned on the charm, hopping and squealing and running in some strange kiddie ritual. Claire squealed back, Astrid flashed her tummy, and that was it: They were fast friends.It wasn’t so easy for Claire’s mother and me. When our kids started making nice, we smiled politely, and as the junior friendship heated up, we attempted shy (on my part at least) and distracted attempts at conversation. "How old is she?" I asked. "What’s her name?" she countered. I’d like to say that today Claire’s mommy is a good friend, but that’s not the case. We continued to exchange pleasantries while our daughters pranced around together, but when our partners appeared, we picked up our squirmy squirts and said good-bye. We haven’t seen each other since. Too bad, because I could have used a new friend. Who couldn’t?
"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over."
- Samuel Johnson
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