It may be that your group never reaches consensus about what to do together. It may subdivide into a variety of forms. Hurrah! Go forth and multiply.
Another way a group can be together is in council. Whereas salons are more freewheeling and spontaneous, council is more deliberate and meditative. Salons work well for groups of individuals who haven't met before. Council works better for groups that already have some history, although this is by no means a prerequisite to its use. Salons are more social. Council is more ceremonial. In salons, the emphasis is on conversation. In council, the emphasis is on community. Council is a way to go deeply into an issue, to create a sense of 'groupness,' to seek higher wisdom and guidance, to open the heart and speak truth.
A good description of council was presented by Jack Zimmerman and Virginia Coyle in Utne Reader (March/April 1991, pp. 79-85). Following are a few guidelines paraphrased from their article:
Talking Sticks and Children's Fire
We often set three simple rules for council: Speak honestly, be brief, and listen from the heart. The group chooses one or two leaders or facilitators whose job it is to keep the process on track. To empower each person to speak in turn, a 'talking stick' or other object is chosen to be passed around the circle–traditionally clockwise, in the 'sun direction.' The talking stick can be anything from a flower to a traditional hand-crafted artifact.
If possible, a fire is built in the center of the circle or a candle is lit to set the mood for storytelling. We have come to call this the 'children's fire,' following the Sundance teaching of Hyemeyohst's Storm. When we say, 'Never cross the children's fire,' we mean no one is to interrupt the person holding the talking stick (except, as in the traditional Native American councils, to express approval by saying, 'Ho!').
Devout Listening and Unpremeditated Speaking
One of the great challenges of council is not to be thinking about what you're going to say until it's your turn to speak. Preparing your contribution before you receive the talking stick obviously diminishes its spontaneity and responsiveness to what others have said. A good practice is to wait until the talking stick is in your hands before pausing to see what springs to mind. A few simple silent reflections can be useful: Will my speaking serve me? Will the circle or community be served? Will the 'bigger picture,' life, God....be served? When doubts remain, it is usually best to take the leap. Boldness is rarely inappropriate.
If the ground rules are stated clearly at the outset it will rarely be necessary for the leader to interrupt anyone for rambling or speaking inappropriately. When interruption is necessary, remember that 'gentle decisiveness' is the mark of a good leader.
Councils can be open or thematic, depending on the group's needs.
Even in an open council a theme often emerges, perhaps triggered by one person's story or the general movement of what is said. Often several people in the circle find they are dealing with the same issue and so the council ends up focusing on that topic. Any member of the circle may shift the theme or propose an entirely new course for the circle. Leaders need to continuously consider the truth of the moment, regardless of who may be speaking it.
Normal witnessing is a basic part of council that brings a different perspective to the circle. One approach is to designate a few regular members of the group as witnesses on a rotating basis, or visitors can be asked to participate in this way. Witnesses sit in the circle but are silent as the talking stick goes around, listening with as much of the 'long view' as they can muster. Then after everyone has spoken, the witnesses are asked to comment, not just about the statements already made, but also about the council process itself. Often a witness will have something valuable to tell the leaders about their way of handling the council.
There are as many styles of council leadership as there are council leaders. Some leaders are active and directive whereas others stay very much in the background, letting the process unfold on its own. Experienced leaders vary their style as the situation demands, taking their cues from the council's purpose and the realities of the moment.
Sometimes a leader will initiate the round in order to set an appropriate tone. At other times the leader may choose to speak last, using his or her turn not only to speak on a personal level, but also to respond to what others have said and to summarize the central themes that emerged. When there are two leaders, both of these important functions can be accomplished in the same council. If time permits, the leader may send the stick around a second time or place it in the center for further exploration.
As in the ancient circles of elders, council members come to know that they each bring a piece of the truth to the circle–a piece essential in itself, but only a part of the whole. The passion of a personal vision becomes part of the larger truth of the circle. When council is working, we all experience this truth without any threat to personal identity and without the 'tyranny of the collective.' Everyone recognizes what's really happening and sees the path to 'right action,' often at the same time, and usually accompanied by the special joy inherent in the co-visioning process.
This experience of simultaneous common realization should not be confused with the democratic process treasured by our political idealism. In council we rarely determine which position is held by the majority–by taking a vote, for example. Sometimes a single individual in touch with the larger truth–and clear enough to reflect it in council–can eventually bring the entire circle into focus. On more than a few occasions we have experienced a young child being the truth-holder in a council of elders.
Simply put, the essence of a council is participation in an interdependence that frees us from the bondage of self-absorption and opens the door to spirited co-creation.