Making Friends with Your Finances
(Page 4 of 5)
July / August 2003
By Jon Spayde, Utne magazine
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Money and its discontents throw a very bright light upon what it means to be independent. We’re thrown into this world naked, unprotected, radically insecure, radically dependent. As we grow we are expected to stake out the territory of our personal independence; then, as we mature further, create financial independence for ourselves. The voice of the money-troubled is the voice of someone who hasn’t managed these transitions, the voice of the desperate child, crying to an all-powerful parent: “I’m afraid. Care for me. I can’t manage on my own. I don’t want to have to look at the mess I’ve made. Make it better.”
It’s easy, hearing that whiny voice, to shout “Grow up!” But the voice carries a truth within it: We are dependent creatures, and we will be all our lives. Life will confront us with needs, dilemmas, and losses that we will never be able to “plan for” or to insure out of existence. In some measure, we will remain radically in need as long as we live. The poor person, struggling debtor, or overspender, trying to climb out of hock and meet his financial obligations for the first time, is overwhelmed and knows that he can’t do it alone. He reaches out, he even prays. But none of us can do any of this stuff alone. The things that money symbolizes—security, trust, hope, obligation, safety, generosity—are too big for money to handle, too big for us to handle, too big (I believe) for any but the biggest answers, the ones that come with faith.
Money does matter, of course. Because it exerts enormous psychological power over our lives and enormous impact in the real world, money offers us a profound subject for reflection and a means of self-knowledge. Money touches upon every aspect of our lives and acts like a magnifying glass on every attitude, hope, fear, and habit that we possess. And on that basis, I believe, it’s so interesting that almost all of us can find a way to put ourselves on good terms with it—even me. The truth is, I am ready to stop fearing money. That does not mean adopting the persona of a hotshot investor or the anxiety of a late-starting saver, but to be an inquirer: to explore what my relationship to money is, and how changing it could improve things for me and my loved ones.
Every money question is also a profound life question, and in my life I want to seek a deep understanding about important issues like security, power, comfort. How much of these good things are in my hands, how much not? What is their ultimate source? Certainly I can find security in a plump annuity, but also in the relationships I cultivate with others, with my own soul, and with God. There is the safety born of a rich, mutually helpful relationship with family and neighbors. The power that comes with spiritual centeredness. The security of knowing one’s calling. As Friedrich Nietzsche wrote, “He who knows the why of his life can make do with almost any how.”
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