Laughing, Knocking on Wood, and Other Parenting Tips

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Someday I might write a parenting book, and it would have chapters with titles like “In Praise of a Dangerous Childhood,” “The Benefits of Discomfort,” “Opinions Are Highly Overrated,” and “Manipulation Through Laughter.” There are a few themes that would run through all the chapters. Like parenthood may be a lot simpler than we tend to make it. That common sense and mutual respect are key. That it really helps to genuinely enjoy your kids. (My policy on summer bedtime was that they got the hook when they couldn’t make me laugh anymore.)

As for inculcating values, the jury is still out. One day not long ago, two of my kids blew me off when I was trying to talk about something that I thought really mattered. I banged around the kitchen for a while and finally, still fuming, said that I choose to believe that at the core they have good values but they certainly do a good job of disguising it sometimes. They started laughing and said that they had just been talking about how they had to admit that I’m usually right—“But, face it, Mom, you are embarrassing!” Which led to a good conversation about how it is fundamentally embarrassing to stick your neck out, to take a stand. And, generally speaking, people don’t die of embarrassment.

Parents are inherently embarrassing to their children, but it seems to me that we might as well be embarrassing for good reasons. So, how have you embarrassed your child today?

P.S. Look for our second annual Indie Culture special issue, on newsstands Nov. 25. This year we are delighted to include a free CD compiled by InRadio, a company started by former Utne intern and staffer Dan Carroll and incubated under our wing.

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