Confessions of a Failed Expat

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In the aftershock of the 1980 election, when Ronald Reagan won big, I went job-hunting in Toronto. I wasn't sure I wanted to launch my journalism career in a country whose chief executive believed that trees cause pollution and poor people use food stamps mostly to buy vodka.

Now we are up against another hard-line Republican administration, this one even more radical than Reagan's, and I hear more people talk about fleeing the USA. (See "A Loyal American Ponders Leaving the Country," page 58). My own attempt to expatriate didn't work out. I was a graduate student with limited professional experience, and Canadian immigration laws made it almost impossible for any magazine to hire me. So I took the train back home to set forth in the world on my native soil.

Do I have any regrets?

Not at all. I am glad for the chance to work for several feisty independent magazines and to enjoy a satisfying life with my American friends, American wife, and very American son -- a boy who was shocked a few years ago when we were watching Olympic ice hockey on TV and I did not immediately answer "USA" to his question of which team I was rooting for to win the gold. I began trying to explain how some of the other teams -- Canada and Sweden and Finland -- represented countries with social ideals I admire. Then I thought better of it and started cheering for the Americans right alongside my son.

I still count myself as a patriotic citizen, even if I am also loyal to my concerns about the misuse of American power in the world and the wrongheadedness of economic policies at home. By staying in the United States, I have been able to pitch in on political campaigns, activist causes, and community efforts that have made a difference in my neighborhood, city, and maybe the country as a whole. Sure, my side has probably lost on more issues than we've won, but I shudder to think what things would look like now if we hadn't raised our voices at all.

I've also enjoyed the best of what America offers on trips to the California redwoods, Texas hill country, New England villages, Milwaukee taverns, the North End of Boston, the South Shore of Lake Superior. This is a great nation full of wonder and vitality, and I'm proud to say it's my land.

But, as a journalist, I've been lucky to travel outside the United States, where I've seen other sights that thrill my imagination. I vividly recall the cafés of Paris, the ruins of Mexico, the beaches of the Caribbean, and the medieval cities of Spain. My imagination, however, also gets thrilled by everyday things I see abroad -- the comfortable pace of life, the cultural richness, and the enlightened social policies.

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