November 22, 2009
UTNE READER

Bathing Beauties

(Page 3 of 3)

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The BIK is a reality check. Showering with dozens of other females over the course of a summer means that you see bodies of all different shapes and sizes. It cures you of the oppressive belief that you're the only one who is imperfect. Hannah, 16, recalls one shower during which every girl put forward her largest physical insecurity. Hannah's overwhelming memory is that she hadn't noticed any of these things -- a mole on the backside of someone's ear, different-colored nipples, a faint unibrow. "It suddenly occurred to me that the things I obsessed about, other people weren't noticing about me, either," Hannah says.

It's pushing back against American culture. It's unbelievable -- and tragic -- to realize that it's actually subversive for females to feel okay about their bodies, to take back our right to feel even adequate. As one of my friends said, "We should be arrested for feeling this good about ourselves."

It's joyful! When you're naked in the shower and your whole self is out there for everyone to see, you basically have nothing more to lose. You can regress to the years before you learned to feel insecure about your body and, like a toddler, just enjoy the opportunity to run around nude. It's pure liberation.

Showering in the BIK is affirming, empowering, and fun, and it gives us the tools we need to keep working at the ongoing struggle for self-acceptance. The greatest challenge is during the winter months, when, lonely under the showerhead, you begin to feel too fat, or too flat, and you have to work to recall the lessons of the BIK.

"At home I try to spread the BIK just by being completely accepting of people -- in every way, but especially physically," said Toni. "Everyone has the potential to be comfortable with her body, but not everyone has the privilege."

Reprinted from the Jewish feminist magazine Lilith (Fall 2004). Subscriptions: $21/yr. (4 issues) from 250 W. 57th St., Suite 2432, New York, NY 10107; www.lilithmag.com.

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