Armadillo Hunting with an Old Man
Tracking vermin with a shotgun, a flashlight, and Grandma's new Buick
March / April 2006
Joby Bass On the Page
Glenwood, Arkansas, probably sounds rural to you. It is. The
hillbilly half of Arkansas is kind of Southern -- sweet tea comes
with supper (maybe fried chicken, squash, and okra), and mistrust,
a three-syllable word, is how folks feel about outsiders. It's also
kind of Appalachian hillbilly. A geographer who grew up in Arkansas
says that the state is culturally split, a diagonal divide running
from northeast to southwest. He says the two parts are (1) hick --
the hill-less half in the southeast that once grew tons of Southern
plantation cotton, and (2) hillbilly -- the other half. The two
halves, he says, are also hygienically distinct. People are either
'pickers' or 'blowers' (referring to the preferred method of sinus
management), and the two vary along the same line that divides the
state's hills from its flatland. I spent the summer of 1988 in the
blower/hillbilly half.
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I split my days between attending classes at a small university
in Arkadelphia and playing tag -- along with my 85-year-old
stepgrandfather, Amos. Although he was slowing down a bit, Amos
could still work circles around most people and talk in even bigger
circles, usually about how he could work. Amos and I did lots of
stuff that summer. We grew seven gardens, as he saw it. (I saw it
as one garden with some grass strips running through it.) We picked
fruit. We cut down a tree. We made a rock garden (that made eight).
And we spent hours puttering around on the mountain roads of
Montgomery County, me staring through the bug-smeared windshield of
his hell-and-back Ford pickup as he drove.
I guess ritual is a sort of psychological cement, perhaps a type
of meditation. The Bodhisattva may live today in rural Arkansas.
Though I never quite nailed down exactly when it would happen, I
learned soon after moving in that twice a week -- every week --
Amos and I were going armadillo hunting. They tore up the garden,
the flowerbeds, and the lawn, he said. They had to be dealt
with.
Sometime after dark -- after supper but before ice cream -- he
would put down his newspaper and magnifying reading light. Turning
in his recliner to look across the house at no one and nothing in
particular, he would say, 'Well, mum, I reckon me and my partner'll
go get the armadillos.'
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