November 22, 2009
UTNE READER

Warrior Spirits

(Page 3 of 3)

Utne Reader May / June 2007
Leah Larson Indypendent 
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I did not stay to see what had happened. My brother's room was silent. There was no 'Yo, this shit is awesome!' or 'You gotta e-mail me this!' I did not watch the rest of the video. All these years of trying to balance my hatred for war and the love for my brother immediately tipped to one side. I did not want to be near him anymore. I did not want to go out for his birthday. How could I? The family of the young prisoner likely mourns while I get to party with his abuser. After finishing the video, my brother yelled upstairs to see if his birthday cake was ready.

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A few days ago, I asked a mutual childhood friend, who was in my brother's room that night watching the video, what had happened in the end. His response was, 'Who are you with right now? Why are you asking me this?' I continually wonder why our friends and family protect my brother from the truth of his actions. In this way, he will never consciously recognize the horror of what he has done or begin to heal himself. My brother came home shortly after our friend told him I was asking questions. He said, 'Listen, I don't want you in my room. I know you're a protester or whatever but I don't want no phone calls from any newspapers and crap.' Someday I'll find the strength to finish watching the video, but torture or murder, I haven't yet forgiven my brother for either.

'Leah Larson' is a pseudonym. The author is a high school teacher who works with troubled teens. Reprinted from the Indypendent, the newspaper of the New York City Independent Media Center, dedicated to empowering people to create a true alternative to corporate press and to be the media. Subscriptions: $25/yr. (20 issues) from Box 1417, New York, NY 10276; www.indypendent.org.

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