November 22, 2009
UTNE READER

Tripping Through Thailand

(Page 4 of 4)

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November: Undone
You can't see a thing. Tightly blindfolded and being pushed, roughly. Stumble. A voice whispers in Burmese, 'Ma pio neh,' don't speak. You imagine, for a second, being buried alive. Then arms pull you to a stop. You hear voices, giggles. Fingers fumble with the knot of your blindfold. See that you have been brought to beauty.

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Claudia's outdoor kitchen is filled with tiny candles: hanging from the trees, melted to the floor, on every tabletop. Friends grin at you from around a table covered in food. Aht pops a bottle of champagne--you haven't seen champagne in a year. Pom makes a toast. 'If you go, na? If you go, don't forget us.' He is still using the conditional, as though your flight weren't tomorrow and your bags weren't packed. Your heart lurches at the thought of going.

A friend takes you aside to tell you this: in Pa-O, his language, good-bye translates to go home slowly. Know that you will savor these words.

December: Home, Not Home
At Tim Hortons an old friend asks about your trip. Stare at the table, search for words. Stay silent so long that she asks, 'How was the food?' Tell her you'll cook for her. That's as close as you can come to translation.

At home in your room, look at the four straight walls, the airtight window, the door on its hinges. You have unpacked your bags, placed photos from Thailand by your bedside. Look at yourself, so strangely clean, and wonder if you ever left at all.


Reprinted from Event (Vol. 35 #3), the literary journal of Douglas College. Subscriptions: $24.95/yr. (3 issues) from Box 2503, New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2, Canada; http://event.douglas.bc.ca.

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