March 14, 2010
UTNE READER

The Gist of Everything

Liquor, lies, and the things left unsaid

Gist
Illustration by Ian Kim
Article Tools
Bookmark and Share

My mother stands at the top of the stairs, thin as a skeleton and reeking of booze.

RELATED CONTENT

“Are you drunk?” I ask.

“No,” she says.

“Have you had anything to drink today?”

“No,” she says.

Lies, all lies. There are always more.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“A peanut butter sandwich.” She sees my look. “And a glass of milk.”

“There’s no milk in the fridge.”

“I just finished it,” she says, irritated. This is her house, after all, her life. Who’s the parent here?

I could look in the garbage can to see if the milk carton is there, or under the sink to check how much is left of the 40-pounder of Bacardi white that was full yesterday. Or we could have a peaceful visit instead. Maybe it’ll give her a reason not to drink the next time she feels the need.

She’s not the only one who can lie to herself.

My mother has always been a fibber, a peddler of relative truth. In her hands, facts curve and shift until they’re true, but not true. It’s usually harmless, and often entertaining.

“Your Uncle Frank was a hero,” she declares. “He was decorated ten times.”

“It was two times, Gail,” says my aunt with a twinge of impatience.

My mother waves away disagreement with a slosh of rum and water. “The point is he was goddamned brave.” It’s the gist of the thing that’s important, and whatever serves the gist of it is true enough.

As my mother’s social drinking became heavy drinking and then slipped across the line into hard drinking, she hid it behind charming exaggerations and comical in­-accuracies. The one true thing was her need for liquor, and over time everything else in her life became a lie. She never missed a day of work. She balanced her checkbook and kept a lovely home. She was so adept, so clever at hiding the truth, that it took me years to see it.

Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | Next >>


Pay Now & Save $6!
First Name: *
Last Name: *
Address: *
City: *
State/Province: *
Zip/Postal Code:*
Country:
Email:*
(* indicates a required item)
Canadian subs: 1 year, (includes postage & GST). Foreign subs: 1 year, . U.S. funds.
Canadian Subscribers - Click Here
Non US and Canadian Subscribers - Click Here
Want to gain a fresh perspective? Read stories that matter? Feel optimistic about the future? It's all here! Utne Reader offers provocative writing from diverse perspectives, insightful analysis of art and media, down-to-earth news and in-depth coverage of eye-opening issues that affect your life.

Save Even More Money By Paying NOW!

Pay now with a credit card and take advantage of our Earth-Friendly automatic renewal savings plan. You save an additional $6 and get 6 issues of Utne Reader for only $29.95 (USA only).

Or Bill Me Later and pay just $36 for 6 issues of Utne Reader!