Sharing War’s Burden

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Walt entered individual and group psychotherapy for combat veterans. It helped to tell his stories, have his feelings and losses confirmed by other vets, and receive honor as part of a brotherhood. But he was in search of more cleansing, blessing, and soul healing than traditional therapy could provide.

He eventually partnered with a Native American woman. He studied her culture and participated in sweat lodges and other rituals. He attended a powwow where he was honored as a returned warrior. He was accepted by the Native community far more than he had been by mainstream America.

Most conventional therapies teach healers to avoid talk of morality. But war is inherently a moral enterprise, and veterans in search of healing are on a profound moral journey. Healers and communities must walk with them. As a society, we must honor those wounds in ways that recognize the depth of psychic suffering.

Warriors in traditional socie­ties served the need for protection, and all that was done was done in the tribe’s name. They had rituals transferring responsibility for actions during warfare from veterans to the entire culture. Ultimately leaders, not ordinary troops, were held responsible for the results of battle and for the deaths that occurred.

Without this transfer of responsibility, the veteran carries war’s secret grief and guilt for us all. During my healing retreats, veterans tell their stories, civilians speak of their lost loved ones, and everyone shares their damaged values and broken dreams. Our vets enter the center of our circle and civilians pledge to accept responsibility for any harm done in their name and to help carry the veterans’ stories for the rest of their lives. By sharing this burden we become a community united in service to war-healing.

Walt, who died of Agent Orange–related cancer last year, received acceptance from Native American communities. In my seven trips to Vietnam, and with every veteran and civilian I have met who has visited Vietnam since the war to reconcile, the Vietnamese people have offered acceptance and forgiveness. In contrast, since Afghanistan, Michael says, “I still love America, but America does not love me.”

Edward Tick is a psychotherapist and author of War and the Soul and three other books. He has worked with veterans for three decades and is director of Soldier’s Heart, a return and healing project for veterans; www.soldiersheart.net. Excerpted from Yes!(Summer 2008); www.yesmagazine.org.

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