A Bowling League of Our Own

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Bowling is a literate sport. In a two-team matchup you must follow 10 evolving narratives through three games and 30 frames. Much as in baseball (and unlike soccer or basketball), in bowling virtually every moment of play can be studied, analyzed, regretted, or celebrated. Even on a losing night you might pick up two different splits, or finally perfect your conversion of a troublesome spare. Bowling also requires basic mathematical skills. Even with automatic scoring, you still have to calculate quickly in your head to know where you stand.

Maybe this is why a younger generation seems to be giving up on bowling. Many claim it's too boring, too square. But maybe for a culture that is becoming allergic to narrative and sequential logic, it's just too demanding. With alarming frequency, bowling alleys are converting to places with names like Cosmic Bowl, where irony has replaced competition and acquired skill, and where black lights, fluorescent pins, pounding disco music, and cheap beer induce a crowd of kids to come "bowling"—In quotes.

Make no mistake. I harbor no nostalgia for retro bowling, at alleys untouched since V-J Day, with hand pinspotters, scoring pads and pencils, lacquered wood lanes, and hard rubber balls. These are museums, if you ask me. My love affair is with brightly lit, well-scrubbed, air-conditioned, suburban 48- and 52-lane palaces. I like the new technology that has, in the past 15 years, redefined the game.

Like the handicap, technology is a great leveler for those not born with raw bowling talent. To reduce fire hazard, urethane replaced lacquer as the protective coating over wooden lanes; it soaked up less conditioning oil and made the lanes "faster." The old balls wouldn't hook well on the new surfaces and so were replaced by highly engineered "reactive" urethane balls, which made the "break point" of your shot—where the ball would start curving into the pocket—more stable and predictable. Depending on urethane and resin mix, the hardness of the shell, the placement of the weight block, and the angle of the finger grips, you can get a ball that "breaks" hard or easy, short or long; one that performs well in oil or is better suited to dryer lanes.

There is a downside: Bowling balls have gotten expensive--as much as $200. Their specialization encourages fleet ownership (I have six active bowling balls and buy about two a year). League play--$10 to $12 a week for three games of competition--is still cheap for a night's entertainment, and everyone gets back some prize money. But as leagues have declined, bowling alleys need to charge, on average, an outrageous $3.50 a game for open play. An hour's worth of practice can cost you $20 or more.

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