American Jerk
Be Civil, or I’ll Beat You to a Pulp
July-August 2009
by Todd Schwartz, from Oregon Humanities
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image by Jesse Kuhn
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It was the most civil of times, it was the least civil of times, it was the age of politeness, it was the age of boorishness, it was the epoch of concern, it was the epoch of who cares, it was the season of hybrid, it was the season of Hummer, it was the spring of Obama, it was the winter of hate speech . . .
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With apologies to Mr. Dickens (or not: screw him), we have arrived at simultaneously the most and least civil moment in U.S. history. A moment when a roomful of even relatively evolved people will react with discomfort to an off-color joke about people of color—and when those same people have no compunction whatsoever about loudly ignoring one another as they blather into their cell phones.
We have never been more concerned about the feelings of minority groups, the disabled, and the disadvantaged. Yet we have never been less concerned about the feelings of anyone with whom we share the road, the Internet, or the movie theater.
Political correctness holds such sway that holidays go unnamed for fear of insulting or excluding someone. Schools won’t let teachers use red pens to correct papers, because little Ethan’s or Emily’s self-esteem might be bruised. No one is “poor,” but many are “socioeconomically disadvantaged.” Civility and thoughtfulness in speech have never been so complete or so codified.
All of which is well intentioned and mostly a wonderful thing. I’m all for being polite and caring and Golden Rule–ish. Sadly, like a lovely field of wildflowers—which in reality is filled with bloodsucking ticks and noxious pollen—we live oh-so-politely in what must certainly be the rudest era in recorded history. Maybe even prehistory.
Neanderthals were probably nicer to each other than we are.
Pick your poison: reality television, slasher movies, video games, online porn, cell phones, automated answering systems, giant assault vehicles for trips to the grocery store, car stereos played at volumes easily heard on Jupiter, web-powered copyright infringement, people who will not shut their inane traps in movie theaters, and, lord help us, now even people who won’t shut their inane traps during live theater.