Entertaining in the Recession

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The original recipe for the gougères was in a magazine story about an elite annual party in Charleston. The stuffed puffs are as traditional as the party, and, of course, the recipe calls for traditional and, of course, costly Virginia ham.

I’ve done it in the past by the recipe and loved the results. But in hard times, one can learn from Austin, Minnesota: home of Spam.

Did you just go yuck?

The truth is that, since 1937, through war and bad economic periods, Americans have found comfort in this gelatinous, meaty stuff. And if you want proof of the economic straits we are in, reports from the Hormel Foods plant in Austin are that they can barely keep up with the demand.

So take back your yuck. Chop up Spam with enough raisins, curry powder, mustard, and cream cheese, and it tastes a lot like Virginia ham at a fraction of the cost. Carefully pump it into those cute little gougères and as the compliments flow, you can chuckle all the way to your cheap liquor bar.

Now there’s no stopping.

Without real crab claw meat, rellenos are cheap to make. Just alter the unnatural shape of fake crab, place it on top of a narrow slice of cheap Mexican white cheese, then stuff both in the pepper. Who has to know that this authentic, utterly decadent pile of seafood rellenos is really pureed, processed, and pressed Alaskan pollock?

The chances you’ll get caught are not great, actually, as most people don’t go to a dinner party and concentrate on the food. Just cover your tracks by removing from the house all the packaging that clearly admits your fakery.

Should someone call you on your truthfulness? Humbly confess again.

You’ve become an environmentalist. All of your dishes not only took some stress off the food chain (when’s the last time you heard about endangered Alaskan pollock?), but also relieved your conscience about being ostentatious.

Then offer your guest another Grey Goose martini.

Excerpted from My Table(Feb.-March 2009), a go-to publication for dish on Houston’s culinary scene; www.my-table.com.

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