November 22, 2009
UTNE READER

What Are You Afraid Of?

(Page 3 of 3)

January-February 2009
by Staff, Utne Reader 
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Matrix is a Canadian magazine of essays, fiction, poems, and reviews. Writer Lindsay Tipping’s essay “Bad Science” (excerpted below) is from issue #80: Gallows Humor.

Do you ever get the feeling that scientists are just fucking with us? I mean, pasteurization and ibuprofen are pretty cool, but some of the other stuff they get up to, I mean, really? Fearless mice, for instance. How are they necessary? I mean, it sucks for the mice. Sure, they get to walk around all cocky for a day or two but then they get eaten or run over or shot by some mean-streaked kid with a BB gun. Fear is their one advantage. Who are we to take it away?

I mean, we get all this anti-fear propaganda but maybe fear isn’t such a bad thing after all. I was fearless for a while. I refused to give in to my doubts and paranoia. And look how well that turned out. Where was science when I was getting the shit kicked out of me by love? Off breeding glowing dogs or talking fish perhaps. Definitely not watching my back. Screw you, science, you’re not gonna take my instincts away. I’ve seen these fearless animals. Their vapid eyes and swaggers. Marching up to the enemy, mouthing off and cuddling. How is that an evolutionary advance? Well, I’m not gonna be one of your little experiments anymore. I’m pushing my fears deeper inside. I’m listening to them at all times. I see danger and pain everywhere. I’m so safe, I’m never gonna die.

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