November 21, 2009
UTNE READER

How to Be a Romantic Poet

(Page 2 of 2)

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3. You and Your Muse
Before sitting down to write, get in the proper mood. When Byron composed Childe Harold, he was ' half mad . between metaphysics, mountains, lakes, love unextinguishable, thoughts unutterable, and the nightmare of my own delinquencies.' Imitate the masters: The best line in all Romantic poetry is Shelley's 'Swiftly walk o'er the western wave, Spirit of Night!' He socks you right in the gut with an Unexpected Initial Adverb, then wins points for Use of the Word O'er, Reference to the West, Maritime Synecdoche, Direct Address of a Spirit, and Gratuitous Capitalization. In just nine words, Percy earns a perfect score.

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4. Expiration
A Romantic poet doesn't die, he Expires. This involves ceasing to breathe amid suitable theatrics. One popular escape route is a wasting illness like Keats' consumption, which will give you plenty of time to travel to Italy, compose your epitaph, savor the guilt of the women who've spurned you, watch your cheek grow wan, and so on. For a quicker departure, drown in the Gulf of Spezia, as Shelley did, or perish for the cause of Greek liberty, as Byron did. Thomas Love Peacock distinguished himself by dying after a house fire, when he stood among his beloved books shouting, ' By the immortal gods, I will not move!' That was a grand exit.

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