Write the worst opening sentence you can imagine for a novel. Then submit it to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Then win, if, of course, you have achieved sufficient badness.
Author Molly Ringle did just that, by writing:
Why of course there’s a contest for this. You should peruse the work of those who won in other categories, like Mary Ann R. Unger’s victorious Historical Fiction entry:
Source: Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest