Mitch Schneider was getting rid of a “sweet, ten-speed thrasher” road bike, and he decided to make hopeful riders work for it—by having them write “in exactly 20 words why you are the most-deserving candidate for my road bike, and what you plan to use it for.”

He shares a handful of responses—some goofy, some earnest—in the new issue of Boneshaker: A Bicycling Almanac, a lively, thoughtful journal that features bike-inspired essays, poetry, reviews, conversations, and more (the article is not available online). Here’s some of the “pure road poetry” that Schneider received:

I done could like this bike to fetch stuff fer me and my wench to cook our vittles real good. –O'Connell

Twenty words is hardly enough to explain how much commuting, cruising, and possibly crashing would happen if it were mine. –David P.

Help I am in need of a bike for Pops! Please help him escape loving but crazy menopausal wife. THANKS! –Sam R.

Moving from Oregon without cash for a car makes this bike an important component to my future success and happiness. –Jordan H.

stripped naked like a chop shop
and then put back together to wheel downtown
and friends in need to borrow
its no haiku, but let me know –Will B.

I would convert this bike to a fixed gear bike then learn how to perform track stands to impress friends. –Bob B.

Source: Boneshaker: A Bicycling Almanac 

Craigslist recently announced that it was getting rid of its “erotic” services section. Instead, the website will have an “adult” services section with more stringent screening and a $10 fee. Speaking with On the Media, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan said to Craigslist, “you've got to recognize that your site has become the number one Internet brothel, and you have to take some responsibility for this.” The CEO of Craigslist countered, accusing politicians of “a bit of a witch hunt or a use of Craigslist as a political piñata.”

Largely absent from this conversation are the sex workers who have come to rely on Criagslist for their livelihoods. The latest issue of $pread, a magazine about “illuminating the sex industry,” has a point-counterpoint with two sex workers on the effect of the new Craigslist rules.

It’s understandable that Craigslist would bow to pressure from politicians and special interest groups, according to a writer known as Starchild, but that doesn’t make it fair. “Their new policy singles out folks who seek and provide erotic services from all other Craigslist users and subjects them to special discrimination, not to mention a greater risk of arrest, fine, and jail,” because of the ability to trace the fees. She does not, however, blame Craigslist. And she doesn’t advocate that people leave the site. Having the “erotic” services listed along side job and apartment listings on Craigslist, she writes, “can do nothing but help sex work be seen as normal and acceptable.”

The new rules aren’t unfair to sex workers, according to Mistress Matisse, but they are unfortunate. If sex workers don’t want to put down a credit card for the Craigslist ads, they can always go other places. And people who can’t afford the fee have bigger problems than Craigslist.

“Don’t blame Craigslist,” Starchild writes. “At least, not too much. Instead, let’s lobby them to send those $10 payments, which Craigslist says will go to charity, to groups like the Desiree Alliance, Sex Workers Outreach Project, and Erotic Service Providers Union, which are working to decriminalize prostitution.”

Sources: On the Media, $pread (article not available online)

The travel industry and Washington D.C. residents stand to benefit handsomely from Barack Obama’s inauguration. Obama fans are forking over serious cash just to be in the vicinity of the capital on January 20—forget actually attending the ceremony—making the bargains struck on Craigslist to score tickets to his Chicago victory rally look meager by comparison.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, D.C. resident Vanessa Jones rented her basement apartment for $4,100 during inauguration week. It only took about 15 minutes for offers to start pouring into her inbox in response to a Craigslist ad she posted.

One Austin couple has taken it upon themselves to organize the Texas migration to Washington for Obama’s swearing in, coughing up the cash to rent three buses, at a steep $12,000 each, to make the trip. They're looking to fill the buses through a Craigslist ad, reports Austin TV station, KVUE, where they're offering seats for $300 round-trip.

Those bus fares could be cheaper than plane tickets to D.C., which the San Francisco Chronicle reports are about 226 percent pricier than normal fares. Airlines are enjoying a hefty bump in business, with many adding special flights to Dulles to accommodate demand. JetBlue spokeswoman Alison Coyle told the Dallas Morning News, “We added these additional flights because on peak travel days, we are seeing bookings close to double what we would see on a normal day in January.”

How’s that for an economic stimulus?

Tickets and plus-one privileges to Barack Obama’s election night rally in Chicago’s Grant Park are a hot commodity on Craigslist, even though no tickets have been issued yet. Rally-goers had to sign up for free tickets to the event online and were promptly notified by email that they were either waitlisted or would receive their ticket, with the option to bring one guest. Tickets are supposed to land in in-boxes some time before Tuesday.

Hopeless, waitlisted supporters and opportunistic likely ticket holders have both made their way to Craigslist to hawk and bid on the yet to materialize goods. Some are simply selling the tickets they expect to receive for as much as $400, while others are offering more creative swaps, like these:

“I am offering to bring as my guest to the Obama rally anyone who can offer any sort of real, prospective employment, internship, and/or networking opportunities.”

“Will trade my soul, slightly used with some tarnish, for 2 tickets to the Obama rally.”

“I am willing to trade notre dame football tickets (in the student section which is really fun) for the last two games.”

"Get free ticket when you abandon Christianity or any other faith and become atheist/agnostic ... If you are already atheist/agnostic or if you are not going to abandon your faith please, bid $350+ for the ticket. Proceeds will go to non profit."

Among the singles set, some Craigslist users are hoping ticket-trading will spark a romantic connection:

“Looking for a super hot chick to be my date to the Obama event. I have no problem pulling hot girls in general so since I have Obama tickets you have to be not just hot but like super model hot, or if you look like Eva Longoria.”

Don’t fret nerdy girls, there are Obama men looking for you too:

“I'm looking for a frumpy and/or nerdy girl to go as my +1 to the Obama event. Short girls preferred. Must not be evil … I am average, at best.”

Striking workers, parasitic scabs, and consequentialist decision-making: Sound like an Upton Sinclair novel? Or maybe the latest Craigslist scandal? Affirmative, on both counts. Besides being (roughly) the story behind Sinclair’s The Flivver King, these are the elements of a hilarious (and by some accounts immoral) fake Craigslist ad soliciting non-union writers for a “network television situation comedy.” The ad, which turned out to be a scab-fishing operation by the New York Press, garnered more than 80 e-mail responses in less than 24 hours. Check out Matt Elzweig’s story, and read many of the entertaining responses, in the New York Press.

Let’s withhold judgment regarding the journalistic integrity of this project until the obvious questions are answered: What are self-described bona fide sitcom writers doing looking for jobs on Craigslist? And who will pour the drinks at the Roxy if all the formerly unemployed writers really do start scabbing for network TV? 

—Morgan Winters