Utne Blogs > Mind and Body

Soul Mate? Not Quite.

by Staff


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Seven-Year-ItchJewish women looking for long-term relationships online using dating sites like JDate and Match.com could actually be hurting their dating lifes. An article by Susan Schnur in Lilith (pdf) makes the argument that online dating websites are bad for Jewish women. “For a good number of Jewish wom­en — mostly those in their late thirties and up who have never married — In­ternet dating has proved an embittering experience, making them feel isolated and at fault,” Schnur writes. The sites encourage men and women to be overly picky, to the detriment of long-term relationships. Schnur observes that “Some women become so demoral­ized by their online experiences that they drop out of dating altogether.”

Many of these women should stop holding out for romantic love, settle down, and marry the next guy who’s good enough, according to Lori Gottlieb at the Atlantic. To single women over thirty, Gottlieb writes “If you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying.” Peppering her argument with pop-culture references, Gotleib contends that women should settle down sooner, even if that means marrying someone they’re not head-over-heels in love with. Gotlieb writes: “My advice is this: Settle! That’s right, Don’t worry about passion or intense connection.” Of course, there are plenty of writers on the internet who take issue with such advice.

Bennett Gordon