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If Physical Theories Were Girlfriends

by Jake Mohan 

Tags: science and technology, physics, humor, McSweeney’s,

newtonAlways good for an erudite chuckle, McSweeney’s recently published a list of “Physical Theories as Women” by Simon Dedeo, reimagining the forces governing our universe as women.

Our dating history, as told by Dedeo, and our knowledge of physics begins with Newtonian gravity. It's the most basic theory and, as such, our first high-school girlfriend.

Later on we encounter general relativity, “your high-school girlfriend all grown up. Man, she is amazing. You sort of regret not keeping in touch. She hates quantum mechanics for obscure reasons.”

Last on the list is string theory, who is “off in her own little world. She is either profound or insane.”

I won’t even try to make a joke about physics geeks having bad luck with women, because this list makes the point so much better.

Image by immugmania, licensed by Creative Commons.