The Tao of War Photography

Enlarge Image Image Gallery Guerrilla fighters near the Andaman Sea; Burma Image by Bruce Haley

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Veteran photojournalist Bruce Haley has seen the worst of us. He's covered conflicts stretching back to the Afghan battle against the Soviet Union. Ten years ago, he wrote something he called The Tao of War Photography. It's part training manual and part memoir. It's mostly tragic and it's a little bit hilarious.

1. To begin with, practice this sentence: “If I get out of here alive, I’ll never do this again.” You’ll say this to yourself every single time an already dangerous situation really turns to shit.

2. It’s true that photography can save your life. The big dent in the front of my F3 would have been an entry hole in my face.

3. As a general rule, people really don’t catapult ten feet into the air whenever an artillery round explodes near them, despite what Hollywood war movies show you.

4. Big jungle foliage makes acceptable toilet paper in an emergency, though it’s rather lacking in the absorbency department.

5. The editors of the major magazines really don’t give a rat’s ass about the latest war and famine in the hinterlands of East BurkinaTimorLanka. You’ll never get an assignment to cover this unless Leonardo DiCaprio becomes a rebel commander and Tommy Hilfiger designs his battle fatigues.

6. Absent Leo and Tommy, a few murdered white tourists will cause a temporary blip on the radar screen. Or not.

7. True anarchy sucks. Forget those tie-dyed, dreadlocked white kids in the university towns who advocate hemp and “anarchy”—if the real thing ever happens here, those assholes will be on the bottom of the food chain.

8. If a rebel commander asks whether you would like to be buried in his country or your own, he may very well be serious and not just testing your resolve.

9. If the rebel commander from #8 sends you along on what turns out to be a kamikaze mission, it could be because the British journalist accompanying you happened to fart during the commander’s dinner the previous evening, causing said leader and all of his aides to silently rise and file out of the small mountain hut (a very very bad sign).

10. It is said that sudden fright causes people to soil themselves. I have noticed that sustained fright causes increased flatulence: fear-farting. I have also seen Afghan mujahideen run out into a heavy rain of incoming artillery rather than shelter in a small crevice with two fear-farting Western journalists.

11. Do you believe in a personal, loving God who really cares about us mortals down here? Go to a few war zones and famine areas and watch all those innocent children die, then answer this question.

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