Magnitude Motors Presents the All-New Godzilla SUV

| October 26, 2000

Magnitude Motors Presents the All-New Godzilla SUV,Slate
'Dangerous. Gigantic. Wasteful. Just what you're looking for!' declares Slate's ad for this fictitious monster SUV, a hilarious look at everything we love to hate about these suburban monster-truck wannabes. 'Exciting features include the 'Sure-Crush' collision-attrition system, guaranteed to obliterate even those measly little first-generation SUVs. Forward battering ram. Onboard oil refinery. Choice of couch or Barcalounger driver's seating.' Special editions include the 'North Face,' with 'sleeping bags rated to -70 degrees, Coleman stove, climbing pitons, and a choice of endangered-species bumper stickers;' and the 'Victoria's Secret' Lovemobile Edition, with 'dual California king beds, mirrored floorboards, mood lighting, continuous-loop Marvin Gaye soundtrack, and Web cam display of catalog models' dressing room.' But don't miss the warning label, 'PLEASE NOTE: Vehicle cannot be operated off-road under any circumstances.' Given recent reports that automakers have secretly known for years that SUVs are susceptible to rollovers, that's not so farfetched. -- Leif Utne
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