10 SIGNS YOU'RE IN TOO DEEP
If five or more of the following are true of you, you may be in need of a hedonistic intervention. Immediately turn off all electronic devices and lie down.
- You no longer remember anyone's phone number because they're all programmed into your cell phone.
- You instant-message people at work who are seated within 20 feet of you.
- You make itineraries for your vacations.
- The idea of a full week without Internet access fills you with terror.
- You are bored at home if the television isn't on.
- You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the world isn't ending.
- You regularly watch sitcom reruns that you have seen countless times before.
- You are unable to sit still and think in silence.
- Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others instead of your own.
- You buy shoes because they match your iPod.
10 SURE-FIRE WAYS TO SLOW DOWN
Simple and obvious, you say? Well, of course they are. But by experimenting with these painfully simple procedures, you will be embarking on a higher journey.
- Find a park bench; sit and observe life.
- Lie in a hammock and stare at the stars.
- Bob in the ocean.
- Go for a walk without direction.
- Read a book in complete silence.
- Take a nap in the sun.
- Take a bath by candlelight.
- Sleep until you can sleep no more.
- Extend foreplay.
- Watch Swedish cinema.
Reprinted from The Hedonism Handbook: Mastering the Lost Arts of Leisure and Pleasure (Da Capo Press, 2004), by Michael Flocker.