If you're delusionally optimistic, you'll agree with P.J. O'Rourke that corporate corruption really has its advantages. In The Weekly Standard, O'Rourke puts a cheerful spin on the recent scandals as he explains how they will benefit the American public's pocketbooks ("we'll more than make it up in lower entertainment and redecorating costs when Martha Stewart goes to jail"), sex lives ("Numerous senior executives' trophy wives will soon be running around unattached"), and even ecology ("It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats--thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000"). As the writer's resourceful imagination proves, the possibilities are limitless. So, while the corruption is still rampant, why not get in on a little of the action yourself?