The Cuckolded Clothier


| 1/14/2015 10:20:00 AM


Tags: advice column, sex advice, family advice, lgbt advice,

Sex Life

Tim White, PhD, LPC, NCC offers advice on family planning and parenting, LGBT issues, disability issues, education and work issues, relationships, ethics and “unusual” social issues. Send questions to Tim for future columns through his website.

Hi Tim,
I’m a woman, 46 and my husband just turned 60. We’ve been married for 11 years and are very happy, but he’s taken up a strange interest. He’s become sexually excited by my wearing other men’s clothing. Not cross-dressing, just a jacket or usually a shirt will do with nothing else on, and the clothes must have been worn by the man and not washed. The man must also be someone we know, so a stranger will not do. I had worn one of his own shirts on vacation and it kind of snowballed from there. Once we housesat for friends, another time my brother was visiting, so we had access. Now, he almost can't be aroused without me wearing another man’s clothes. You can imagine this is no easy trick to pull off. You can’t just ask friends and family to borrow a used shirt! I’m embarrassed to even be writing about the whole thing.

I want to please my husband but this weird requirement is making our usually satisfying sex life fade out. We are at 6 weeks, and no shirts to be had. How can I politely request used clothing, or cure him of this silliness? His work deals with men’s clothing among other things. His father was one of those career tailors. Do you think we should explore that? We can go to counseling if necessary. I just want my old reliable sex life back. — Shirtless

Hi Shirtless,
Please congratulate the hubby on securing a fetish that is as awkward and tenuous to manage as it is essentially harmless. Your cuckolded clothier has carved out a niche that will not provide a lot of affirmation, social contacts or a support network. I cannot tell from your letter, but I hope he is not a workaholic who actually found a way to bring his job into the bedroom.

It appears that you do not mind indulging him; especially if you are willing to have sex in your brother’s dirty shirts! You sound like you want to accommodate your husband’s kink, but who is pleasing you? Perhaps you find his penchant for polyester blends at least amusing, so maybe the two of you can embark on a horny haberdashery haunt and check out some new, laundered men’s fashions. Your interest in whatever you fancy may inspire him to swap soiled for starched. There are likely kindred spirits online, at least for the sake of validation, but your husband requires familiarity with the bearer of each shirt and it also seems best to avoid the mystery stains and shipping costs of a used shirt recycling ring.