Reunited and It Feels Like Hell


| 2/17/2015 10:30:00 AM


Tags: advice column, lgbt advice, parenting advice, etiquette,

Snowman reunion

Tim White, PhD, LPC, NCC offers advice on family planning and parenting, LGBT issues, disability issues, education and work issues, relationships, ethics and "unusual" social issues. Send questions to Tim for future columns through his website.

Hi Tim,
I am a man, late 40’s with a very successful career and married to a wonderful guy for 12 years. I am fit and healthy now, and I have aged pretty well but only after some hard work. High school was not a good time for me. I did a lot of emotional eating after being terrorized in lower grades for being effeminate and soft-spoken. I became quite overweight, and along with still being effeminate you can imagine that the kids never passed up an opportunity to ridicule or embarrass me and make me feel like less than nothing. It got bad enough that I was assaulted twice and had to visit the ER. I came out in my 20’s and got very health-conscious in my 30’s, lost all the extra weight and I have maintained my weight for over 15 years now.

My 30 year high school reunion is coming up, and just talking on the phone with a couple of my tormentors and hearing their voices has triggered all kinds of anxiety, even temptation to overeat again which I have resisted. I never attended before but I want so badly to show up and flaunt my success in their faces, I think it would be such a confidence-builder for me. But how do I muster the confidence to just walk in the door?

- Reeling Over Reunion

Hi Reeling,
Congratulations on taking care of your health and staying fit! You did not mention an eating disorder from your youth so I am not certain this applies directly to you, but hopefully with the recent recognition of binge eating disorder, more children and teens can get help before they face serious health risks.