Peepers Creepers


| 10/29/2014 4:35:00 PM


Tags: advice column, ethical advice, parenting advice, family advice,

Woman closing curtains

Tim White, PhD, LPC, NCC offers advice on family planning and parenting, LGBT issues, disability issues, education and work issues, relationships, ethics and "unusual" social issues. Send questions to Tim for future columns through his website.

Hi Tim,
I’m a single guy, mid 30’s, and I live in high-rise lofts with a courtyard but my unit is in a unique and awkward position. There’s a young girl, about 20, attractive and single college student who lives across the garden from me. We see each other in passing, at the mailboxes or laundry sometimes, or say hello but never any conversation. My unit is in a corner and so close to hers that I can never open a blind or look out a window without staring directly into her place! The large shower windows are directly across from each other, along with the patio/balcony doors in the bedrooms! I’ve seen her naked several times, quite by accident because I tend to leave my blinds open to let light in, or open a window for fresh air. Of course, I run away or close them once I see her.

A few nights ago I was relaxing on my patio. Her patio doors were wide open, and she came into her bedroom, flicking the lights on wearing nothing but panties. She saw me sitting there holding my beer, in shock, and ran out of the room. Now, when I have seen her around she goes out of her way to avoid even sharing the sidewalk with me. I tried to approach her to apologize once, but she just ran off. How do I patch things up between us so I can ease her suspicion that I am lurking around spying on her? — Peeping, Tim?

Hi Peeping,
Please do not invoke my name and drag me into this debacle. The only peepers in question belong 100% to you. Also, kindly refrain from saying "my unit" so often if you tell this story in the future; especially if you tell this story to a police officer. You may also have to explain to the officer how you even know this young lady is a student or especially that she is single? Or why you chased her in the parking lot just to declare, "I am so sorry I saw you naked!" I am already a bit creeped out myself but I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt since you are writing in to me. If these observations speak to an innocent attraction you had to this young lady in the past, let me officially alert you now; game over!

There is nothing to "patch up" as you put it because there has never been a relationship and you must never contact her again. Do not risk another of these alleged chance encounters. Invest in a dark, heavy patio curtain and also some blackout shades, which at only a few bucks are much more affordable than the average bail bond and/or fractured neighborship. You keep your awkward unit covered up from now on, no matter who your neighbor is, and wait for a more secluded loft to become available.