Smoking Gun



Tim White, PhD, LPC, NCC offers advice on family planning and parenting, LGBT issues, disability issues, education and work issues, relationships, ethics and “unusual” social issues. Send questions to Tim for future columns through his website.

Hi Tim,

I’m a single woman, 27, falling madly in love with a cute, sweet guy. He’s a little on the “bad boy” side, quite different than what I’m used to, with a sleeve of tattoos and some very noticeable piercings. We’ve been dating for 10 months and we are so sexually compatible. He does have quirks, harmless like most of us have, and one is to bring a .45 automatic pistol to bed with us. Of course it’s not loaded, but he likes to do some role play with it, have me hold it to his head or vice versa and things like that. That’s all harmless fun that I don’t mind.  What bothers me is that he’s not supposed to have a gun at all. He’s on probation for his second conviction for aggravated assault and ended an 18 month sentence last year. Even though the gun is registered and belongs to his friend, just being around him with it makes me uncomfortable and not very excited. I just worry about him being caught with it. Now he’s interpreting this as rejection and not calling me for the last two weeks. Am I being too uptight?

- Gun Shy

Hi Gun Shy,

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