Subversively Silencing Subwoofers

| 7/29/2010 11:17:39 AM

Subwoofer on steroids

Do you hate subwoofers like I hate subwoofers? Does the low-fi din of an earth-shaking, bumper-rattling car stereo, detectable from a quarter-mile away and meant to broadcast the owner’s flagrant and rebellious love of bass-heavy hip-hop, make you want to just shut the thing off? If so, I think Make magazine can help us out.

You see, a couple of months ago Make, the do-it-yourself magazine for techno-geeks and home tinkerers, featured plans for the TV-B-Gone hoodie. The TV-B-Gone is a small device that will shut off any TV within range, and the hoodie is meant to conceal this sometimes controversial act by executing it with a mere shift of the zipper.

Now, in its most recent issue, Make features a different DIY creation, the solar car subwoofer, in which the author shares his plans for mounting solar panels on his car to drive his booming speakers. “What’s a road trip without awesome tuneage?” writes the enthusiastic but misguided lad, who’s employing green technology to practice dark arts.

You see where I’m going with this, right? The Subwoofer-B-Gone hoodie. For its next issue, I challenge Make to create a device that will allow me to silence subwoofers—solar powered or not—with my “modded” hoodie. I’m not interested in hearing why it won’t work: I’m leaving it to these genius tinkerers to find a way. Then, the next time some inconsiderate punk is disrupting my day by getting crunk, or hyphy, or grimy, or whatever the hell that horrible sound is, I won’t have to stand for it.

The only problem, perhaps, is that I’d have to wear a hoodie. And do you want to hear how I hate hoodies?

9/20/2014 4:33:28 AM

fags. i build this shit from scratch with my bare hands. time and time again i hear retards like you sit and bitch for a 20 second drive by you have to live your pathetic stupid ass mother fucking incestuous little boys penis touching life a little less comfortable. is 20 seconds that bad to drive you to the point of ranting online about it to waste more of your energy and time knowing you cant do shit except bitch.. just let it go dumb ass or i'm going to come bitch slap you with some real super bass

Rick Raab-Faber
8/9/2010 11:59:44 AM

Friggin' Genius! Maybe whole cities could set them up on top of office buildings to cancel sub-woofage throughout. I'd really like a device that would just instantly drain their car batteries and kill their alternator.

Eric Solstein
8/3/2010 7:43:35 AM

You neglect to mention portable cell phone jammers.

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