How to Write a Sex Scene

The 12-step program

| March-April 2005

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    Susanne Saenger

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Now that I am an internationally famous author celebrated for my graphic portrayals of amour (see “A Pervert Among Us,” New York Times Book Review, April 2002, and “How Low Will He Go?” US Magazine, Jan. 2003), I am frequently asked how I manage to write such incredibly hot sex scenes.

My general response to these inquiries is to laugh shyly and say, “Look, kid, ask Updike, he’s even smuttier than me.”

But I must admit that the question is being asked so frequently these days, and with such delicious sycophancy, that I feel duty bound to respond to my public somehow.

Therefore, in the interest of preventing more bad sex writing from entering the cultural jet stream, I am officially setting out my 12-Step Program for Writing Incredibly Hot Scenes.

Step 1: Never compare a woman’s nipples to:
a) Cherries
b) Cherry pits
c) Pencil erasers
d) Frankenstein’s bolts

Nipples are tricky. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and shades. They do not, as a rule, look like much of anything, aside from nipples. So resist making dumbshit comparisons.

Tinthia
5/7/2018 6:14:42 AM

You have made great points. Although authors would like all women to believe that she must orgasm during intercourse or she is, in some way, inferior just isn't true. Consider this article from Psychology Today (Posted Feb 01, 2016): But in women, orgasm-inducing nerves are located not in the vagina, but in the clitoris, the little nub of tissue that sits a few inches north of the vaginal opening nestled under the upper junction of the vaginal lips. Intercourse provides some women with enough clitoral stimulation to elicit orgasm, which is why half of the women in this study reported orgasms from just intercourse. But intercourse—even extended, vigorous intercourse—provides only a little direct clitoral stimulation, which is why half the women didn’t have orgasms from just the old in-out. So in truth we're doing our readers a disservice by telling them ALL women get off during intercourse.


Carla
1/7/2018 6:46:22 AM

I hate to disillusion you, however, when my lover and I were busy at it. I would tell him to go deeper, harder, faster, slower and fuck me. He would also tell me to suck, squeeze, Neither of us thought of chores, our wives, and husbands, yep we had those and other daily realism. We wanted fun, and boy did we have it. I also multi orgasm, due to excessively sensitive nerve endings. The ones that give electric shocks. I find your hypothesis completely wrong, or your sex life was mundane.


Carla
1/6/2018 2:25:41 PM

From my personal experience, I did tell my lover to go deeper or fuck me harder. We spoke dirty at times and the only thing we had in common at the time was having a great time between the sheets or wherever we were at the time, not once did we think of chores, bills or our respective wives and husbands. Yes, I was having an affair with a married man, no it wasn't my husband either. I also multi-orgasm and start quite rapidly as I have nerve endings where they shouldn't be.