10 SIGNS YOU’RE IN TOO DEEP
If five or more of the following are true of you, you may be in
need of a hedonistic intervention. Immediately turn off all
electronic devices and lie down.
- You no longer remember anyone’s phone number because they’re
all programmed into your cell phone. - You instant-message people at work who are seated within 20
feet of you. - You make itineraries for your vacations.
- The idea of a full week without Internet access fills you with
terror. - You are bored at home if the television isn’t on.
- You absolutely must watch the news every day to be sure the
world isn’t ending. - You regularly watch sitcom reruns that you have seen countless
times before. - You are unable to sit still and think in silence.
- Your conversation regularly revolves around the lives of others
instead of your own. - You buy shoes because they match your iPod.
10 SURE-FIRE WAYS TO SLOW DOWN
Simple and obvious, you say? Well, of course they are. But by
experimenting with these painfully simple procedures, you will be
embarking on a higher journey.
- Find a park bench; sit and observe life.
- Lie in a hammock and stare at the stars.
- Bob in the ocean.
- Go for a walk without direction.
- Read a book in complete silence.
- Take a nap in the sun.
- Take a bath by candlelight.
- Sleep until you can sleep no more.
- Extend foreplay.
- Watch Swedish cinema.
Reprinted from The Hedonism Handbook: Mastering the
Lost Arts of Leisure and Pleasure (Da Capo Press, 2004), by
Michael Flocker.
