| THE GOODS | THE ANGLE | THE PITCH | THE REALITY |
| Baby Gap velvet jacket | Reincarnation cachet | A cherubic buddha in a velvet jacket and cap sells “Instant Karma.” | Buying $44 jackets for your kid doesn’t guarantee that you won’t come back as a rodent. |
| K-9 Academy | Buddhist naïveté | A young child flanked by a German shepherd and a Doberman sitting in front of a comfortable home: “With due respect to the Dali Lama, yes, you can buy peace of mind.” | … but you can’t keep it on a leash. |
| Nekoosa Paper | Peace of mind | A woman sitting in a meditation pose provides the backdrop to this line: “Provide Peace of Mind with superior smoothness, outstanding opacity.” | Paper cuts. |
| Smirnoff Vodka | Faux authenticity | “This vodka comes in a bottle designed by albino monks from Tibet,”says the man. “How’s it taste?” asks the woman. “Taste?” the man quips. | If it’s not Absolut, it’s all relative. |
| SoBe Zen Blend Tea | Quenching your thirst for enlightenment | The “Age of Enlightenment” has begun, says, SoBe, so get on board with a drink that moves you “toward a state of relaxation and meditation.” | Schedule your zazen with a bathroom break. |
Adapted from Tricycle(Fall 1998). Subscriptions:$24/yr. (4 issues) from TRI Box 3000, Denville, NJ 07834..
