The 19 kinds of friends

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The Road-Trip Friend: From Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady to Thelma and Louise, the rolling duo is ingrained in American myth. Romantic notions aside, a good road buddy can read a map, is willing to bathe, and has a credit card and a driver’s license—preferably in the same name.

The Secondhand Friend: When someone introduces you to someone else, supposedly because they think you’ll hit it off, it could be a clever strategy to ditch you both. Which is good: Secondhand friends are a better deal than new friends, which, like cars, lose 20 percent of their value once they leave the showroom floor.

The Dormant Friend: Every so often a dead friendship will spring back to life, bringing two people even closer together than they used to be. The reawakened friendship speaks to the mystery of friendship in general—especially if you’ve forgotten why you drifted apart. But give it time; you will be reminded.

The Friend-You-Only-Drink-With Friend: A subspecies of the special-interest friend. In extreme cases you might not even recognize such people in the harsh light of day, having only seen them in the barroom glow—and from the side.

The Treatment Friend: Same as above, but in that harsh light. Like bonds formed at summer camps and religious retreats, treatment friendships may soon dim outside the virtual reality from which they grew.

The Friend with Benefits: Not the kid down the street with a trampoline or a parrot that swears. We’re talking sex buddies. Popularized in a lyric by singer Alanis Morissette, friends with benefits were actually observed and documented years ago by anthropologist Margaret Mead in Coming of Age in Samoa. Caution: Sex for the fun of it may be illegal in 13 states and the District of Columbia.

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