Have an Average Day

As someone who has suffered from mental illness, this idea has
been quite "normal" for me for some time. During the depths of my
depressed despair, I went to a bank. The teller had on "average"
clothes, an "average" hairstyle, and had pictures of her "average"
children at her booth. In a flash of an instant, I could see her
"normal" day, married or not, getting up to help her kids get to
school, coming to work, cleaning house when she got home, putting
the kids to bed. And I thought about how frustrated she might think
she was with this arrangement. But for me it was miraculous! Did
she know how lucky she was to have an "average," "normal" life? It
was an insight which changed my experience of living. And if that's
not enlightenment, what is?

The concept of "average" being "enough" has profound potential,
certainly for the original audience of suicidal teens who feel they
don' measure up. Why then the summary sentences: "Be an average,
happy person making a small positive difference (and having a
happy, average day). In doing this, you create a kind of
exceptionality that everyone can share."? Then the purpose for
allowing oneself to be avergage mutates into a desire to achieve
"exceptionality." Argh! Must we aim to find that everything is in
some way rich and fulfilling? Do people feel guilty because they
were unable to effect significant change in the lives of others
today . . . or because we heap accolades on those who do Big things
and ignore those who don't? As long as we define who we are by what
others perceive us to accomplish, we are all doomed to feel that
our own small lives are less than significant, even a drain on
society. This is the kind of thinking that engenders thoughts of
suicide, and not just among teenagers. Where is the satisfaction
that could come from being able to say at the end of the day that,
"I hurt no one. I cheated no one. I belittled no one. I judged no
one. I brought no heartache into the world today."?

As the author of Thrival! How to Have an Above Average Day Every
Day, I take your assertion as one of "realizing" one's self and
experience on a daily basis. This is not just mindfulness but also
looking for the richness within and in one's experiences and
circumstances. Most in this culture are looking to "improve" -- the
implication of my title as well. However, improvement leads to a
kind of self-comparison with which one is never "enough". In
Thrival one seeks to have the "richest experience of one's live" --
which is not alway happiness. However, this richness can come from
realizing oneself in various contexts, insperiences, and
experiences.

I am savoring this refreshing idea. Yes, a few minutes of an
ordinary day devoted to something positive or enjoyable can lead to
extraordinary things. I have recently stopped myself from feeling
guilty on the rare days that I have nothing pressing to do. I try
to remind myself that a day doing nothing is not wasted if we enjoy
it.