How to Have an Authentic Staycation

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By now you’ve heard of the staycation, touted as the recession-friendly cousin of the vacation. But, as political comic Will Durst writes in Funny Times, “The problem with most folks planning a staycation is they focus on the high points of local landmarks but forget to include all the little moments that truly distinguish memorable holiday excursions.” He then offers up his own list of tips for having an authentic vacation experience at home, adding all the waiting and frustration that happens in reality. You can find all of Durst’s suggestions for “Staycation Fun” in his column archives, but here are a few favorites:

Pack luggage like you’re really headed on a trip, then pick a piece to misplace for the duration.

Duplicate inevitable airport delay by wasting four hours at a 7/11.

Sit on curb outside your house for 90 minutes because your room isn’t ready yet.

Every two hours, burn 60 dollars.

Set alarm for 6 a.m. to receive wake-up call for room next to yours. Knock on door at half-hour intervals with a cry of: “Housekeeping!”

Eat at a strange restaurant and grunt and point at the menu, unable to speak the native language, even if it’s only Floridian.

For full tropical experience, dump sand in your bed.

Source: Funny Times

Image by masochismtango, licensed under Creative Commons.

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