Nice Work, WINKY!

On a cold, gray morning in China’s Hunan province, I met a
Unicorn. And then a Pepsi and a Strawberry. Next, an Angel King,
and a No Foot Bird. These middle school students all stood around
me in their red-white-and-blue uniforms, smiling sweetly, launching
questions like cannon fire.

Do you like basketball?

‘Well, Jackrary, I am actually very bad at sports . . . ‘

Do you watch Friends?

‘Yes, Killer, sometimes I watch Friends-it’s a pretty funny
show!’

In American high school, do girls and boys go out on
dates?

‘It really depends, Small Bat. Some American teenagers date, but
not all of them . . . ‘

What is your favorite thing in China?

Their eyes shone a little brighter in pride and expectation. I
rattled off the standard litany of history, culture, food, but I
thought to myself: ‘Well, Fashion Words, at this moment it might
just be your name.’

In the same way you might have been dubbed Dominique in a middle
school French class, all the little Jiangs and Ziao Weis also get
new monikers for their study of English. Yes, there is still an
abundance of Janes and Jacks. But then there are the wild cards:
Bison, Feeling, Lawyer Yo-Yo, Wiance, Blackhorse, Waterman, Shaq,
None, Superdonkey, Beyond, Yuki Juice, Rubbin, Viva, Felix,
Santemillion, Bear, Leg, Lala, Lalala, Icy Cat, Civic, Captain,
Lettuce, Coker, Win Kids, Email, Renus, Vitality, Panday, Double,
Landfill, Square, Jekyll, Snakie, Orange, Do Do, Shiny.

Despite the strangeness of these names, there is some method to
the madness. For one thing, unlike the Pierres who were christened
with a teacher-scrawled name card, the English students of China
mainly pick their own names. And considering that they learn
foreign languages sooner than Americans, this means 6-year-olds
sometimes are left to choose their own names.

Diana Lin, a teacher at Zhongshan University in Guangzhou,
recalls the self-chosen toddler names she encountered working at a
Montessori preschool in Beijing: ‘I had a Flying Tiger, Dragon,
Happy, and Hamburger-from her Chinese name, Han Bao Bao [which
happens to mean hamburger, too]-an unfortunate name for a cute
little girl.’ But the most popular name was Monkey King, inspired
by the classic Chinese tale Journey to the West. ‘I’ll have to say
it was rather fun running after a kid screaming, ‘moooonkeeeeey
kiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!! Come back, Monkey King!’ ‘

The many Monkey Kings of Lin’s class won’t necessarily stay
Monkey Kings. After a few years, they may move on to something
else, perhaps equally as zany. Part of the fun of these names seems
to be their malleability. While the students’ Chinese names were
chosen after much deliberation by a convocation of parents and
grandparents, students can try on and then abandon English names as
if they were trendy T-shirts. Like Han Bao Bao/Hamburger, some
students do choose English names that are linked either by sound or
meaning to their Chinese name-Tao (‘cherry’ in Chinese) becomes
Cherry, Luo Man Xi becomes Romancy, Luo Yi becomes Roy (even if she
is a girl). Most students, however, go with names that have little
connection to their Chinese identity and are that much easier to
mix, match, and trade in.

Besides sports (Michael Jordan, Beckham, even Manchester
United), other realms of Western pop culture are ripe fodder for
name choices. Current favorites include Rachel (due to the wide
availability of Friends on bootleg DVD), Draco, and Harry Potter;
young girls might add the surname Di Caprio to another name (Yoki
Di Caprio, for example). Though celebrity names can be deceiving.
Keanu, a 20-year-old history student at Zhongshan University, chose
her name not so much because she loves Keanu Reeves but because she
wanted to have a boy’s name since her Chinese name, Xiao Lan, is so
‘typically female,’ she says.

Even some of the most nonsensical names contain hidden personal
meanings. No Foot Bird, for example, named himself after a Chinese
proverb that describes how a bird with no feet will have to keep
flying. Flying Bird, on the other hand, says she looks like a bird
and thinks flying is great. Truth claims he finds it hard to tell
the truth, so he chose the name to remind himself to be truthful.
Cactus, a geography student, likes how cacti can thrive in harsh
conditions, and she wants to share that quality.

Others are chosen (or made up) mainly for the way they sound-and
this is where people occasionally run into trouble. While Jackrary
(an unlikely combination of January and February), Disney, and
Lalala are fairly uncontroversial, names like Syphilis, Vagina, and
Cancer can be more problematic. Though they are mellifluous to the
nonnative ear, when the young people are studying abroad or working
with foreigners, these names simply will not fly. Neither will
Satan nor Willing. And definitely not Gas Chamber or Hitler.
Teachers usually try to persuade kids away from the more
inappropriate names, with mixed results. Mariko Hirose, a teacher
at Yali Middle School in Changsha, relates her attempt to reform a
Killer. ‘Killer used to be Jason but in J2 Oral English he learned
that ‘killer’ could also mean ‘cool,’ and so he changed his name.’
She tried to get him to change his name at the beginning of the
year but it didn’t work: ‘He said that I needed to respect his
opinion.’ Inside the classroom, anything goes, but as China becomes
increasingly international, younger generations have a bigger
chance of using their ‘English’ name out in the world: on documents
and correspondence, and in business deals. The potential for
embarrassment is high, but so is the likelihood of self-correction
before it gets to that point.

In the meantime, maybe we should just respect their opinions.
Teenagers everywhere strive to be unique, but in a nation of more
than a billion, wouldn’t it be nice to be the only Winky? Teenagers
crave independence, and in a culture where filial piety is still
the rule, at least you can subvert the Fang family name by adding
Cobra to the front. Teenagers dream of rebellion, and under the
rule of a government that discourages it, the safest option might
be the personal revolution of becoming Dangerous. And in schools
where dating is prohibited, unisex uniforms are the rule, and
studying for exams occupies every hour when you are not taking
them, perhaps you cannot have fun, but you can be Fun.

Then again, these are Western values talking. We may appreciate
the names because they seem rebellious or subversive, but they may
be subverting more than their own culture. Language is an
instrument of power, and it can be challenged from the bottom up by
something as simple as a name. The ability to choose or even create
one’s own name is empowering, especially in the process of
negotiating a new language (‘the international business language’)
and the new ideals that come with it. Names like Genius Jeffson,
Ice Wolf, and Celery turn the English language upside down and
inside out, simultaneously deconstructing and celebrating it.
They’re playing with ‘our’ language until it is ‘their’ language
too, and are carving out elastic new identities for rapidly
changing China. Every day, in classrooms across the nation’s 23
provinces, these students turn morning roll call into pure,
surrealistic poetry.

Reprinted from the BlowUp (Fall/Winter 2006).
Subscriptions: $30/yr. (2 issues) from 60 E. Ninth St. #404, New
York, NY 10003; www.theblowup.com.

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